Heya guys,
Dani here.
Well, I haven't really been posting on here in a while, and neither has Eleanora, but we've both been busy. I'll leave Eleanora to explain her own situation - it's her story to tell, not mine.
As for me, well, I'm pleased to say my depression seems to be getting better.
But my anxiety is getting worse. :(
I'm stressing out about every little thing and I can't prioritise at all. Homework is taking over my life and so are tests.
I have arrangements about doing tests differently with my head of year, but that doesn't solve everything. Homework is still a huge issue for me.
In fact, right now I'm on the verge of tears because I have coursework due tomorrow and I'm too stressed to redraft my essay.
I don't know what to do.
If you have any tips on anti-stress, please comment! <3
Oh yeah, and also, I tried to take some antianxiety tablets that my psychiatrist prescribed but they just made me a zombie - I nearly died at least 5 times in 2 days because of them.
So yeah that's it from me for now I guess...
-Dani
Thursday, 16 October 2014
Wednesday, 8 October 2014
Monday, 6 October 2014
Dani Rambles: Triggered
Hiya guys :/
So if you read the title, you'll probably realise what this post is going to be about.
Self-harm triggers.
If you're easily triggered, please, please, please don't read this. In the least, don't act on any triggers.
So I made the mistake of reading something triggering about cutting which had the warning above. For the millionth time.
Can I not?
You know how, when you're depressed or self-harm, you feel drawn to reading stories or poems or looking at pictures or watching videos which relate to those topics? Exactly. It's so hard to block them out.
But it's even harder to block out the thoughts that come with it after you read/looked/watched whatever said item. It's really difficult.
So please, please avoid triggers.
And also, if you did not avoid the trigger, don't get mad at yourself for it.
It's natural to be drawn to those things when you feel that way. Don't hate yourself or beat yourself up over it.
-Dani
So if you read the title, you'll probably realise what this post is going to be about.
Self-harm triggers.
If you're easily triggered, please, please, please don't read this. In the least, don't act on any triggers.
So I made the mistake of reading something triggering about cutting which had the warning above. For the millionth time.
Can I not?
You know how, when you're depressed or self-harm, you feel drawn to reading stories or poems or looking at pictures or watching videos which relate to those topics? Exactly. It's so hard to block them out.
But it's even harder to block out the thoughts that come with it after you read/looked/watched whatever said item. It's really difficult.
So please, please avoid triggers.
And also, if you did not avoid the trigger, don't get mad at yourself for it.
It's natural to be drawn to those things when you feel that way. Don't hate yourself or beat yourself up over it.
-Dani
Saturday, 4 October 2014
Bryan&I
Bryan&I
Or "How a teenage love story can ruin someone"
Hey guys, its Eleanora ♥
So let me explain the situation :
My boyfriend (we will call him Bryan, for some privacy reasons) and I have been dating for almost a year now. We had a really great relationship, a lot of communication,respect and mostly,love. But the thing is, since we came back from summer holidays, Bryan has changed. I don't recognise him anymore, and he is making me suffer emotionally a lot these days.No one understands (except Dani ♥ ) and they all tell me that I should blame everything on myself or that they can't see the problem.
I will post an article about my relationship and advices as much as I can (more than once a week I guess).
Antidepressants (and other mental disorder medication)
Hiya for the third time today!
Right now I'm here to talk to you guys about medicine. Ew, I know right?
But medicine isn't always as bad as it seems.
I'm talking mainly about antidepressants in this article. If you want me to go into more depth in anything, just ask. Comment on this post or check out the link under 'about us'. ;)
There are a lot of myths surrounding the issue of medication against mental disorders. I have heard a lot of untrue 'facts' about antidepressants, for example.
Let me first of all state what I know is actually true:
Right now I'm here to talk to you guys about medicine. Ew, I know right?
But medicine isn't always as bad as it seems.
I'm talking mainly about antidepressants in this article. If you want me to go into more depth in anything, just ask. Comment on this post or check out the link under 'about us'. ;)
There are a lot of myths surrounding the issue of medication against mental disorders. I have heard a lot of untrue 'facts' about antidepressants, for example.
Let me first of all state what I know is actually true:
- Antidepressants and antianxiety can work in reverse - there are many of them out there so the one(s) you first try might not be the right one(s) for you,
- There are over 200 types of medicine. It's not only prozac and xanax.
- The first 2 weeks taking antidepressants are the hardest usually because your body needs to adjust its chemicals in your brain so it might work in reverse at first, and get a lot better steadily later.
- If you suddenly stop taking your medicine because you don't feel like you need them anymore and your doctor hasn't told you to, you will sufffer the consequences.
- There are always side effects. They won't necessarily be very big but if you don't like them you can always change your medication (e.g. I was gaining weight with Lexapro so I stopped taking that (with the permission of my psychiatrist) and I started taking something that focusses on hormones more instead).
But what I've also experienced is that:
- They help. They really do. Without them, I probably wouldn't be alive to tell you this right now.
- Psychiatrists are there to help you. They won't judge you. They'll try their best to find something that suits your situation and will not give up.
- After 1-2 weeks the effects of you getting better will (most likely) start to show - this feels great.
Don't expect medicine to make it all better though; it's not some miracle cure. It's to help you be stable enough to undergo therapy without the strong suicidal ideation and/or self-harm urges, etc.
Be strong! <3
-Dani
My Story
Hello lovelies !
Since Dani posted an article about getting help and about her story, I guess it is my turn now to share mine.
I have had always, as far as I remember, issues with my weight.
I remember when I was 8, making plans of how I will eat in middle school.
When I was ten, I did not want to reach 30kg.
When I was 11,I made diet plans after a class trip (of not eating so well).
At 12, I was reading the calories labels behind the granola bar my mom gived me as snacks for school.
And so on...
Last year, after the Christmas holiday, I went to synchronised swimming class for the first time since 3 weeks. The teacher (who I didn't appreciate that much) asked me to walk infront of her. After completing the task, I asked her why. She said "You gained some weight during the holiday,look at your thighs". I remember this moment like if it was yesterday, I couldnt breathe, I was about to cry ; she smiled and said "You could go run before class on the stadium next to the swimming pool". It was the first time in my life, that anyone had ever called me fat.Or made a comment on my body.
The fact that she was an adult, and my coach, made the situation even worse.
Since this day, everything changed.
I weighted 42kg for 1m53 that day.
Three months later, I weighted 36.5 kg.
I had droped almost 7 kgs.
What did I do ? Well lets say that my diet went worse and worse days after days and weeks after weeks.
I went from a complete breakfast (cornflakes,milk,orange juice) to a cup a coffee. I signed up for some sport competition with some training at lunch time at my school, and every time I came back after training to the cafeteria ; no food was ever left except salad.When I came back from school, I was always extremely hungry (with only a cup of coffee and a small portion of salad in the stomach) and I will go for a 1h run. Then, I would eat "normaly" at dinner so my parents don't suspect anything.
Wrong.
My parents saw my weight loss, the teachers told my mom that I looked weak and that I had a noticabe weight loss. So my mom took me to see a doctor. He asked me about my weight and my mom answered 38kgs, she didn't knew my real weight. He explained how seriously I could damage my own body and that my body was beautiful healthily. Until this day, I still think that he didn't took my problem seriously.
Then, my american penpal came for 10 days and I didn't want her to think that I was a "skinny b*tch" who talks about her weight and food all the time. So while she was here, I ate normaly and didn't mention my issues with food. And then,I thinked about it alot and felt like eating normaly again, for my own good health.
But still today, I have issues with food,weight and body image(and more but this would be in an other article).
If like me, you need help, please contact a doctor or call a hotline immidiatly.
Don't damage your body and mind,
Stay strong ,beautiful ♥
-Eleanora ♥
Since Dani posted an article about getting help and about her story, I guess it is my turn now to share mine.
I have had always, as far as I remember, issues with my weight.
I remember when I was 8, making plans of how I will eat in middle school.
When I was ten, I did not want to reach 30kg.
When I was 11,I made diet plans after a class trip (of not eating so well).
At 12, I was reading the calories labels behind the granola bar my mom gived me as snacks for school.
And so on...
Last year, after the Christmas holiday, I went to synchronised swimming class for the first time since 3 weeks. The teacher (who I didn't appreciate that much) asked me to walk infront of her. After completing the task, I asked her why. She said "You gained some weight during the holiday,look at your thighs". I remember this moment like if it was yesterday, I couldnt breathe, I was about to cry ; she smiled and said "You could go run before class on the stadium next to the swimming pool". It was the first time in my life, that anyone had ever called me fat.Or made a comment on my body.
The fact that she was an adult, and my coach, made the situation even worse.
Since this day, everything changed.
I weighted 42kg for 1m53 that day.
Three months later, I weighted 36.5 kg.
I had droped almost 7 kgs.
What did I do ? Well lets say that my diet went worse and worse days after days and weeks after weeks.
I went from a complete breakfast (cornflakes,milk,orange juice) to a cup a coffee. I signed up for some sport competition with some training at lunch time at my school, and every time I came back after training to the cafeteria ; no food was ever left except salad.When I came back from school, I was always extremely hungry (with only a cup of coffee and a small portion of salad in the stomach) and I will go for a 1h run. Then, I would eat "normaly" at dinner so my parents don't suspect anything.
Wrong.
My parents saw my weight loss, the teachers told my mom that I looked weak and that I had a noticabe weight loss. So my mom took me to see a doctor. He asked me about my weight and my mom answered 38kgs, she didn't knew my real weight. He explained how seriously I could damage my own body and that my body was beautiful healthily. Until this day, I still think that he didn't took my problem seriously.
Then, my american penpal came for 10 days and I didn't want her to think that I was a "skinny b*tch" who talks about her weight and food all the time. So while she was here, I ate normaly and didn't mention my issues with food. And then,I thinked about it alot and felt like eating normaly again, for my own good health.
But still today, I have issues with food,weight and body image(and more but this would be in an other article).
If like me, you need help, please contact a doctor or call a hotline immidiatly.
Don't damage your body and mind,
Stay strong ,beautiful ♥
-Eleanora ♥
Getting Help
Hiya!
I think that's going to be my opening for now haha.
Well, I'm going to move on to a more serious topic now. Getting help. Dun dun dunnn.
Okay Dani, no more joking around. This is serious.
So, how do I start this? Well, first of all, if you feel something is mentally or psychologically wrong with you don't be afraid to get help. You might be rejected a few times at first. That happened to me, too. But there are people out there who want to help you and will help you.
Some people judge others. However, there are people you can trust your life with. And it's your job to find those people. But I'm here to hopefully make that task a bit easier for you. ;)
So first resource there is is the hotlines page. However, it's not the best place to go for help - it's a one time thing. You can call back, sure, but another person will answer the phone everytime.
Let me talk about my experience a bit.
I did what was adviced on every website I went on. I talked to my parents.
Now since my dad is barely ever home and when he is I don't want to ruin the mood I went to my mum instead. I'm also a bit of a mummy's little girl at times...
In the end, she said she couldn't help me and that I should visit the school counsellor.
DON'T EVER BE AFRAID OF SCHOOL COUNSELLORS. THEY WILL NOT CONTACT YOUR PARENTS UNLESS THEY HAVE YOUR PERMISSION, AND INFORMATION DOESN'T GET PASSED ONTO OTHER TEACHERS.
I got told by the counsellor that she thought I probably suffer from a form of depression (I had suicidal thoughts). In that case, I had to go to a doctor. She asked me if I wanted her to tell my parents or get a teacher involved, and I said no. What I heard was enough.
If you don't have a school counsellor, you can skip straight to the next step: see your local doctor. My local doctor was very kind, however I know that Eleanora didn't have the same experience as me. Find the right doctor for you.
My doctor referred me to a hospital since they didn't specialise in the kind of treatment I needed. They asked if they should make an appointment, and my mum and I agreed.
At this point, my parents were involved and knew about my situation. I'm not sure if it's always this way, because I told them myself. However, if you have a specific situation you want advice on, you can ask me (check the about us page for links to the sites I'm on or just comment on this post).
In the hospital I got diagnosed with several mental disorders. They then asked me if I wanted medicine. My mum didn't want me on medication, so she said no. (I will write a seperate post on antidepressants.)
They also said that I needed therapy. I have therapy for two years now, and I can honestly say my life has improved loads.
Getting help, if you continue fighting for it, is always a good thing.
Fight for what you believe in and fight for what you need!
-Dani
I think that's going to be my opening for now haha.
Well, I'm going to move on to a more serious topic now. Getting help. Dun dun dunnn.
Okay Dani, no more joking around. This is serious.
So, how do I start this? Well, first of all, if you feel something is mentally or psychologically wrong with you don't be afraid to get help. You might be rejected a few times at first. That happened to me, too. But there are people out there who want to help you and will help you.
Some people judge others. However, there are people you can trust your life with. And it's your job to find those people. But I'm here to hopefully make that task a bit easier for you. ;)
So first resource there is is the hotlines page. However, it's not the best place to go for help - it's a one time thing. You can call back, sure, but another person will answer the phone everytime.
Let me talk about my experience a bit.
I did what was adviced on every website I went on. I talked to my parents.
Now since my dad is barely ever home and when he is I don't want to ruin the mood I went to my mum instead. I'm also a bit of a mummy's little girl at times...
In the end, she said she couldn't help me and that I should visit the school counsellor.
DON'T EVER BE AFRAID OF SCHOOL COUNSELLORS. THEY WILL NOT CONTACT YOUR PARENTS UNLESS THEY HAVE YOUR PERMISSION, AND INFORMATION DOESN'T GET PASSED ONTO OTHER TEACHERS.
I got told by the counsellor that she thought I probably suffer from a form of depression (I had suicidal thoughts). In that case, I had to go to a doctor. She asked me if I wanted her to tell my parents or get a teacher involved, and I said no. What I heard was enough.
If you don't have a school counsellor, you can skip straight to the next step: see your local doctor. My local doctor was very kind, however I know that Eleanora didn't have the same experience as me. Find the right doctor for you.
My doctor referred me to a hospital since they didn't specialise in the kind of treatment I needed. They asked if they should make an appointment, and my mum and I agreed.
At this point, my parents were involved and knew about my situation. I'm not sure if it's always this way, because I told them myself. However, if you have a specific situation you want advice on, you can ask me (check the about us page for links to the sites I'm on or just comment on this post).
In the hospital I got diagnosed with several mental disorders. They then asked me if I wanted medicine. My mum didn't want me on medication, so she said no. (I will write a seperate post on antidepressants.)
They also said that I needed therapy. I have therapy for two years now, and I can honestly say my life has improved loads.
Getting help, if you continue fighting for it, is always a good thing.
Fight for what you believe in and fight for what you need!
-Dani
Welcome
Hiya, Dani here c:
How are you guys? Welcome to the site! Hope you enjoy your stay.
Since the site is just in its early ages, there's not much on here yet. But Eleanora and I will (hopefully) fill it up soon with blog posts and information you might be able to relate to and therefore find comfort and hope in. Or maybe even advice. :)
I don't really have much to say at the moment, though. Anyway, like I said earlier, enjoy your stay!
-Dani
How are you guys? Welcome to the site! Hope you enjoy your stay.
Since the site is just in its early ages, there's not much on here yet. But Eleanora and I will (hopefully) fill it up soon with blog posts and information you might be able to relate to and therefore find comfort and hope in. Or maybe even advice. :)
I don't really have much to say at the moment, though. Anyway, like I said earlier, enjoy your stay!
-Dani
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